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Today is definitely a very productive and busy day. Cleaning up after Megan is always a constant chore. My wife uses the analogy of trying to shovel away snow in a blizzard – you are not going to get very far. While there is still much to do around the house, the fact of the matter is that one of my New Year goals is to work on my writing.

With the 20-11 WordPress blog challenge underway (and me coming aboard four days into the challenge), I have already posted one article over at Reasoning with the Critics and two on the Angry American Patriot blog.

What, then, do I have planned for the House Husband Journal? Today, the focus will be on introducing the concept of providential living. Much of what is discussed here (and in forthcoming articles) will be information that is based upon the self-reliance teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is Providential living?

Loosely, the concept of providential living is defined as the ability for an individual to possess the capacity to meet their own spiritual and physical needs. It is the ability to sustain oneself and meet their essential needs. This is typically focusing on providing for one’s shelter, food, and clothing. Basic essentials. However, a more accurate answer to this question is provided by Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

What is a provident provider?

All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others. (From Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually speech at the April 2009 general conference.)

As a stay-at-home parent and being reliant upon one main source of income, my wife and I have made decisions to cut out unnecessary expenses of things we do not need. This means, limiting the amount of times we eat out. In fact, it is one of our New Year Goals as a family to spend more time eating in than eating out. Yet, this is not the only area where a providentially minded home has to focus on.

Basic ingredients to make your own laundry detergent

We have also decided to become a “green home” in that we no longer purchase commercial grade household cleaner‘s, laundry detergent, and fabric softener. Instead, we have cut much of our cost in this area by purchasing the necessary items to make our own household cleaners. Recently, we had to make a new 5-gallon bucket of laundry detergent and used only Arm and Hammer Washing Soda, Zote Soap (or Fels-Naptha), and 20 Mule Team Borax. As for our fabric softener, we add 1/4 cup of White Distilled Vinegar to the Rinse cycle. There are two additional ingredients that we add to our homemade liquid laundry detergent and that is Oxi-clean and our choice of essential oils with Tea Tree. The initial investment will be the brunt of your out-of-pocket expense, however, the savings definitely pay in the end when you have to replenish the basic ingredients.

Going from making our own laundry detergent, having White Distilled Vinegar on hand is one of the best things every household could invest in. Vinegar is actually a cleaning agent for all types of household chores.

Recently, I have gone out and purchased empty spray bottles that will handle the day-t0-day usage and made my own all-purpose cleaner. A simple 1 part vinegar to 1 part water, and some drops of favorite essential oils. The only cost, the bottle, vinegar, and essential oils.

Going from the household cleaning supplies, we also have cut down on what we spend at the Grocery store by being cognizant of what we are buying. This utilizes the commitment in creating a family menu. Whether it is a weekly, bi-weekly, or even a monthly menu, as a family, we sit down and come up with a menu plan of what we need. Since we also maintain an inventory of what items we already have on hand (a very important and arduous task at the initial outset), we go through and incorporate what we have with the menu items for that day. Three meals a day, we are able to go to the store and purchase those necessary items without wasting time figuring out what will be for dinner.

Another are of providential living is the ability to put together a family rainy day fund. The purpose of this fund is to provide income during times that will allow for the continuation of paying bills, necessary expenses, and the like while a family is faced with the situation of having limited or no income otherwise needed to support themselves. If one is not in place (like with our family) there has to be some creative development in accomplishing this.

The best solution to this is to put aside $160.00 per paycheck into a dedicated savings for emergencies only. This comes from when I resided at the Aloha Inn transitional housing program of Seattle, Washington. Residents there, who were employed, were required to put aside $320.00 per month ($160.00 every two weeks, or $80.00 weekly). By the end of the nine month program, a resident will have $3200.00 saved up and at their disposal for the ability to pay first, last, deposit and furnish their own place. Thus, taking this savings concept and applying it in the family setting, a family ought to have saved $3,840.00 in a 12-month period. However, it does not end here. The one thing my wife and I have already done is taken our spare change and placed it into a make-shift piggy bank. At the end of every month, we go through and roll up all the coins that we are able to, record the amount that is contained in this bank, and use it for immediate emergencies as necessary (our recent emergency was having to use $10.00 for gas). Using this spare change that we keep on hand helps us when we get into a bind.

From here, we also are challenged to focus on how we are able to get out of debt by figuring out what bills need to be paid off, working with creditors in maybe lowering the minimum payments, and doing what we can to pay what we can. Sometimes this benefits an individual, at other times it is quite difficult. Yet, the ability to become self-sufficient requires sacrifice and commitment to live within one’s means.

How then is this providential living?

Our home is no longer dependent upon the fret of whether we have enough money to purchase the necessary commercial grade cleaners to maintain a clean home. Majority of our cleaning now incorporates homemade cleaners that do far better than what most of the commercial grades could do. Whether we make our own laundry detergent that lasts us over a years time, to making our own all-purpose cleaner with essential oils, we have saved money in our pocket book and on our grocery bill.

And, the utilization of creating a bi-weekly menu item helps us save money by only focusing on those specific items we need. Also, the need to eliminate unnecessary foods that we should steer clear from – this includes items as soda, chips, non-nutritious snack items and unnecessary grocery items.

Reigning in your finances, establishing a budget, sacrificing some unnecessary expenditures, and living within our means requires creative thinking, willingness to let go of some of the more luxury items that we can do without, as well as not further placing our family into more debt than we already are.

Final Thoughts

As previously stated, forthcoming articles will focus on how a stay-at-home parent can work on establishing a providential house, becoming self-reliant, and the ability to function in our current economical trials.

It is another typical Monday morning. Woke up around 6 am (when I had wanted to wake up around 4 in the morning), rushed to get dressed, and get our 3 month old ready to go.

There is much that needs to be accomplished today. Luckily, my wife and I had called on a friend to come over and help tend to the care of our little girl. She is a definite blessing in our lives. Always smiling, she is discovering her laughter, and the ability to talk in her own unique way.

Some of the things I had wanted to accomplish today (hence, the reason behind wanting to wake up at 4 in the morning) were to exercise for 20 minutes a day. This is one goal that I would like to commit in accomplishing. Being overweight is no fun, and at my age, there is greater chances in developing certain health risks. Not only this, but only having a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans that fit is not a very conducive wardrobe. Ideally, I would like to lose about 100 lbs in the next 6 months.

Another goal is to get up so that there is time for personal prayer and scripture reading. A definite goal to develop a more habit forming routine where I immerse myself in the scriptures, reading them, praying, and seeking the guidance of Heavenly Father.

From this, the other aspect is to be able to have time to prepare a healthy breakfast for my wife and stepson. A desire that has recently come as an impression to have that morning breakfast time with family. The ability to come together and sit at the table and share the morning with one another, talking about what we have going on for the day, encouraging one another, and developing a more positive family relationship and bond with one another is something that our society today seems to have neglected and lost. Not only this, but once breakfast is done, have a morning family devotion where we read the scriptures together, pray as a family, and start our day off knowing that we are making time for not only ourselves individually, as a family, but most importantly, for our Heavenly Father. The impression is that the more we do this, and commit to doing this on a consistent basis will help bring us closer, and provide a better foundation for our own individual faith in how we grow in our own testimony.

These are the three main areas that I would love to see happen in my home, and develop as a habit where we are consistent.

One of the things that we have decided to adopt is keeping a calender for all necessary appointments so that we know what is going on for the coming week. However, while this is all good, there is much room for improvement in how we are to come together and plan out what is happening in the coming week, but also develop a menu planner so that we know what is for breakfast, lunches, and dinners.

All of this comes down to managing our time as a family effectively and respectively. When we are able to commit to doing the things that we know need to be done, we find that we are not rushing, becoming angry or upset, and starting our day off stressful that the morning did not go as smoothly as expected.

Now, regarding today, there is much to be done. And, as I reflect upon this, my mind is drawn to a favorite hymn that I love to sing sometimes. It is called Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel:

1. The world has need of willing men
Who wear the worker’s seal.
Come, help the good work move along;
Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Put your shoulder to the wheel; push along,
Do your duty with a heart full of song,
We all have work; let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel.

2. The Church has need of helping hands,
And hearts that know and feel.
The work to do is here for you;
Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Put your shoulder to the wheel; push along,
Do your duty with a heart full of song,
We all have work; let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel.

3. Then don’t stand idly looking on;
The fight with sin is real.
It will be long but must go on;
Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Put your shoulder to the wheel; push along,
Do your duty with a heart full of song,
We all have work; let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel.

4. Then work and watch and fight and pray
With all your might and zeal.
Push ev’ry worthy work along;
Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Put your shoulder to the wheel; push along,
Do your duty with a heart full of song,
We all have work; let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel.

And, the way I see it, one either can choose to be idle in their duties, or one can roll up their sleeves and get the necessary work that needs to be done, done. Furthermore, it is like what I tell my stepson, “when you actually do the chores and get them done, you will find that there is enough time to do the things that you love to do.” Words of advice that I need to take to heart myself. Yes, because there are those days when I just do not want to get things done. Everything seems to have piled up because of being lazy and just not putting things away, or cleaning up after myself.

This is called procrastination – a poor habit to develop, and a necessary habit to break.

So, what all do I have to accomplish today? Much. Laundry, Kitchen, Bathroom, organize and put clothes away in the bedroom, clean off the dining room table, organize the living room, dust, and ensure that everything is in its appropriate place. Once all this is done, then there is homework to finish up. After all this, then one has time to play.

Only that having a wonderful three month old to care for is one of the most blessings I can ask for.

Therefore, being a stay-at-home parent has its challenges, has its ups and downs, has its good days and bad days. While it is demanding, there is much that I am learning about myself. The ability to manage my time wisely, the ability to plan for and develop a consistent family schedule and routine that works for our busy life, and the ability to integrate personal scripture study, family scripture and prayer, as well as coursework is a worthy challenge. All this keeping me busy and not being idle in anyway.

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