Archive

Tag Archives: Journal

Today is definitely a very productive and busy day. Cleaning up after Megan is always a constant chore. My wife uses the analogy of trying to shovel away snow in a blizzard – you are not going to get very far. While there is still much to do around the house, the fact of the matter is that one of my New Year goals is to work on my writing.

With the 20-11 WordPress blog challenge underway (and me coming aboard four days into the challenge), I have already posted one article over at Reasoning with the Critics and two on the Angry American Patriot blog.

What, then, do I have planned for the House Husband Journal? Today, the focus will be on introducing the concept of providential living. Much of what is discussed here (and in forthcoming articles) will be information that is based upon the self-reliance teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is Providential living?

Loosely, the concept of providential living is defined as the ability for an individual to possess the capacity to meet their own spiritual and physical needs. It is the ability to sustain oneself and meet their essential needs. This is typically focusing on providing for one’s shelter, food, and clothing. Basic essentials. However, a more accurate answer to this question is provided by Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

What is a provident provider?

All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others. (From Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually speech at the April 2009 general conference.)

As a stay-at-home parent and being reliant upon one main source of income, my wife and I have made decisions to cut out unnecessary expenses of things we do not need. This means, limiting the amount of times we eat out. In fact, it is one of our New Year Goals as a family to spend more time eating in than eating out. Yet, this is not the only area where a providentially minded home has to focus on.

Basic ingredients to make your own laundry detergent

We have also decided to become a “green home” in that we no longer purchase commercial grade household cleaner‘s, laundry detergent, and fabric softener. Instead, we have cut much of our cost in this area by purchasing the necessary items to make our own household cleaners. Recently, we had to make a new 5-gallon bucket of laundry detergent and used only Arm and Hammer Washing Soda, Zote Soap (or Fels-Naptha), and 20 Mule Team Borax. As for our fabric softener, we add 1/4 cup of White Distilled Vinegar to the Rinse cycle. There are two additional ingredients that we add to our homemade liquid laundry detergent and that is Oxi-clean and our choice of essential oils with Tea Tree. The initial investment will be the brunt of your out-of-pocket expense, however, the savings definitely pay in the end when you have to replenish the basic ingredients.

Going from making our own laundry detergent, having White Distilled Vinegar on hand is one of the best things every household could invest in. Vinegar is actually a cleaning agent for all types of household chores.

Recently, I have gone out and purchased empty spray bottles that will handle the day-t0-day usage and made my own all-purpose cleaner. A simple 1 part vinegar to 1 part water, and some drops of favorite essential oils. The only cost, the bottle, vinegar, and essential oils.

Going from the household cleaning supplies, we also have cut down on what we spend at the Grocery store by being cognizant of what we are buying. This utilizes the commitment in creating a family menu. Whether it is a weekly, bi-weekly, or even a monthly menu, as a family, we sit down and come up with a menu plan of what we need. Since we also maintain an inventory of what items we already have on hand (a very important and arduous task at the initial outset), we go through and incorporate what we have with the menu items for that day. Three meals a day, we are able to go to the store and purchase those necessary items without wasting time figuring out what will be for dinner.

Another are of providential living is the ability to put together a family rainy day fund. The purpose of this fund is to provide income during times that will allow for the continuation of paying bills, necessary expenses, and the like while a family is faced with the situation of having limited or no income otherwise needed to support themselves. If one is not in place (like with our family) there has to be some creative development in accomplishing this.

The best solution to this is to put aside $160.00 per paycheck into a dedicated savings for emergencies only. This comes from when I resided at the Aloha Inn transitional housing program of Seattle, Washington. Residents there, who were employed, were required to put aside $320.00 per month ($160.00 every two weeks, or $80.00 weekly). By the end of the nine month program, a resident will have $3200.00 saved up and at their disposal for the ability to pay first, last, deposit and furnish their own place. Thus, taking this savings concept and applying it in the family setting, a family ought to have saved $3,840.00 in a 12-month period. However, it does not end here. The one thing my wife and I have already done is taken our spare change and placed it into a make-shift piggy bank. At the end of every month, we go through and roll up all the coins that we are able to, record the amount that is contained in this bank, and use it for immediate emergencies as necessary (our recent emergency was having to use $10.00 for gas). Using this spare change that we keep on hand helps us when we get into a bind.

From here, we also are challenged to focus on how we are able to get out of debt by figuring out what bills need to be paid off, working with creditors in maybe lowering the minimum payments, and doing what we can to pay what we can. Sometimes this benefits an individual, at other times it is quite difficult. Yet, the ability to become self-sufficient requires sacrifice and commitment to live within one’s means.

How then is this providential living?

Our home is no longer dependent upon the fret of whether we have enough money to purchase the necessary commercial grade cleaners to maintain a clean home. Majority of our cleaning now incorporates homemade cleaners that do far better than what most of the commercial grades could do. Whether we make our own laundry detergent that lasts us over a years time, to making our own all-purpose cleaner with essential oils, we have saved money in our pocket book and on our grocery bill.

And, the utilization of creating a bi-weekly menu item helps us save money by only focusing on those specific items we need. Also, the need to eliminate unnecessary foods that we should steer clear from – this includes items as soda, chips, non-nutritious snack items and unnecessary grocery items.

Reigning in your finances, establishing a budget, sacrificing some unnecessary expenditures, and living within our means requires creative thinking, willingness to let go of some of the more luxury items that we can do without, as well as not further placing our family into more debt than we already are.

Final Thoughts

As previously stated, forthcoming articles will focus on how a stay-at-home parent can work on establishing a providential house, becoming self-reliant, and the ability to function in our current economical trials.

Yesterday, my supervisor contacted me and stated that my presence is requested to start work on this coming Monday. This is because I am on lay off status with International Paper. Last time I worked, was for three weeks (last couple of weeks in July and the first week of July). Prior to this, I started with IP when it was Weyerhauser. This was back in October of 2007.

At that time, I had secured employment with Wal-Mart, and too my dismay, was making only 8.40 an hour. This lasted for only a week when Manpower had called me in for a potential employment with a different client of theirs. While at the Bellevue, Washington Office, I noticed they were looking for people to work at Weyerhauser. I inquired about it and ended up getting hired on.

I subsequently quit without notice to Wal-mart, but then again, that is one benefit of an At Will state because an employee can quit with or without notice and with or without just cause in Washington State.

As I started off working, the position was that of General Laborer. There was always overtime every Saturday, with maybe one full weekend off work once a month. Life started turning around for the better.

It was hard work. However, after a couple of months, I bid on a classified position, got the position, and started working for better pay because of this new position. On top of this, I had become part of the Safety Committee. Progressing into more high paying positions, working Monday through Friday, sometimes switching over to swing shift, my wife and I started getting things taken care of.

This all was accomplished within 1 year.

The bad news came in November when the recession started to first hit, and because of Seniority, I was laid off. Three months out of work, and my wife bringing in the only income. Life had become a bit hard for us. I then started working for Corestaff at AmazonFresh as a warehouse associate. After almost 6 months of work, I was let go because I had clocked in three seconds late.

This also was the time Becky and I knew we were having a baby. Concern, prayer, and consolations kept us going.

As my thoughts turn, we are trying to find a babysitter for Megan. We can’t afford much, and the whole “stay-at-home” dad experience may come to an abrupt end for a time. I am not sure how long I will be working. For the most part, it may only be to cover vacations. Last year, when I was called back to work, it was only for three weeks. This was prior to the birth of our daughter Megan.

Since that time, I have stayed at home, searching for employment and working on my studies through Kaplan University.

When Megan was finally born, my wife and I spent as much time as possible bonding with her. The first couple of month’s, we spent sleeping out in the living. My wife in the Recliner, and I slept on the futon. Because she had a C-Section, she could not get into our bed, and it became a privilege to care for Megan and My wife. Caring for them in a way I could have never thought possible.

Holding my little girl in my arms, walking the “circuit” (through the kitchen and down the hall), it was my time with her. six and a half months later, her I am reminiscing on the wonderful six months of my life.

As my wife and I discuss me going back to work, emotions seem to flood me. The reality that I will not be holding her, interacting with her, watching her grow every day is really hitting hard. Part of me knows that when I go back to work, it is good money. It will help us out financially. Yet, there is the other part of me that says “I don’t want to go back to work.”

My wife commented by saying “now you know how I felt”. And, when I took Megan over for our usual lunch date, my wife asked me if I would cry all the way to work? I simply shrugged my shoulders and silently said that I hoped I would have reigned in my emotions. However, and in all honesty, the thought of not being around my little girl really is hard.

This bond that I have with my daughter is very meaningful to me, especially since she is the only one of my four children that I have spent this much time with, watch make those milestones. She is already pulling herself up, we are starting to teach her to take steps and helping her build her confidence and balance.

And, while we were talking about returning back to work, my wife (and subsequently, her co-workers) related to me that it really is a tough emotional time. My wife kept herself busy, but cried the first week she was back at work. I am sure that there are going to be those moments I will be catching myself thinking “if I were home right now, this is what Megan I would be doing”.

This whole stay at home parenting is a new experience. It is a worthwhile experience, and I am grateful for the bond that my daughter and I have. I hold her close to me and all the cares in the world seem to go away for that moment. It is like, her and I are there and nothing else matters.

Honestly, I will miss my little angel while at work.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 274 other followers