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Today is definitely a very productive and busy day. Cleaning up after Megan is always a constant chore. My wife uses the analogy of trying to shovel away snow in a blizzard – you are not going to get very far. While there is still much to do around the house, the fact of the matter is that one of my New Year goals is to work on my writing.

With the 20-11 WordPress blog challenge underway (and me coming aboard four days into the challenge), I have already posted one article over at Reasoning with the Critics and two on the Angry American Patriot blog.

What, then, do I have planned for the House Husband Journal? Today, the focus will be on introducing the concept of providential living. Much of what is discussed here (and in forthcoming articles) will be information that is based upon the self-reliance teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is Providential living?

Loosely, the concept of providential living is defined as the ability for an individual to possess the capacity to meet their own spiritual and physical needs. It is the ability to sustain oneself and meet their essential needs. This is typically focusing on providing for one’s shelter, food, and clothing. Basic essentials. However, a more accurate answer to this question is provided by Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

What is a provident provider?

All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others. (From Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually speech at the April 2009 general conference.)

As a stay-at-home parent and being reliant upon one main source of income, my wife and I have made decisions to cut out unnecessary expenses of things we do not need. This means, limiting the amount of times we eat out. In fact, it is one of our New Year Goals as a family to spend more time eating in than eating out. Yet, this is not the only area where a providentially minded home has to focus on.

Basic ingredients to make your own laundry detergent

We have also decided to become a “green home” in that we no longer purchase commercial grade household cleaner‘s, laundry detergent, and fabric softener. Instead, we have cut much of our cost in this area by purchasing the necessary items to make our own household cleaners. Recently, we had to make a new 5-gallon bucket of laundry detergent and used only Arm and Hammer Washing Soda, Zote Soap (or Fels-Naptha), and 20 Mule Team Borax. As for our fabric softener, we add 1/4 cup of White Distilled Vinegar to the Rinse cycle. There are two additional ingredients that we add to our homemade liquid laundry detergent and that is Oxi-clean and our choice of essential oils with Tea Tree. The initial investment will be the brunt of your out-of-pocket expense, however, the savings definitely pay in the end when you have to replenish the basic ingredients.

Going from making our own laundry detergent, having White Distilled Vinegar on hand is one of the best things every household could invest in. Vinegar is actually a cleaning agent for all types of household chores.

Recently, I have gone out and purchased empty spray bottles that will handle the day-t0-day usage and made my own all-purpose cleaner. A simple 1 part vinegar to 1 part water, and some drops of favorite essential oils. The only cost, the bottle, vinegar, and essential oils.

Going from the household cleaning supplies, we also have cut down on what we spend at the Grocery store by being cognizant of what we are buying. This utilizes the commitment in creating a family menu. Whether it is a weekly, bi-weekly, or even a monthly menu, as a family, we sit down and come up with a menu plan of what we need. Since we also maintain an inventory of what items we already have on hand (a very important and arduous task at the initial outset), we go through and incorporate what we have with the menu items for that day. Three meals a day, we are able to go to the store and purchase those necessary items without wasting time figuring out what will be for dinner.

Another are of providential living is the ability to put together a family rainy day fund. The purpose of this fund is to provide income during times that will allow for the continuation of paying bills, necessary expenses, and the like while a family is faced with the situation of having limited or no income otherwise needed to support themselves. If one is not in place (like with our family) there has to be some creative development in accomplishing this.

The best solution to this is to put aside $160.00 per paycheck into a dedicated savings for emergencies only. This comes from when I resided at the Aloha Inn transitional housing program of Seattle, Washington. Residents there, who were employed, were required to put aside $320.00 per month ($160.00 every two weeks, or $80.00 weekly). By the end of the nine month program, a resident will have $3200.00 saved up and at their disposal for the ability to pay first, last, deposit and furnish their own place. Thus, taking this savings concept and applying it in the family setting, a family ought to have saved $3,840.00 in a 12-month period. However, it does not end here. The one thing my wife and I have already done is taken our spare change and placed it into a make-shift piggy bank. At the end of every month, we go through and roll up all the coins that we are able to, record the amount that is contained in this bank, and use it for immediate emergencies as necessary (our recent emergency was having to use $10.00 for gas). Using this spare change that we keep on hand helps us when we get into a bind.

From here, we also are challenged to focus on how we are able to get out of debt by figuring out what bills need to be paid off, working with creditors in maybe lowering the minimum payments, and doing what we can to pay what we can. Sometimes this benefits an individual, at other times it is quite difficult. Yet, the ability to become self-sufficient requires sacrifice and commitment to live within one’s means.

How then is this providential living?

Our home is no longer dependent upon the fret of whether we have enough money to purchase the necessary commercial grade cleaners to maintain a clean home. Majority of our cleaning now incorporates homemade cleaners that do far better than what most of the commercial grades could do. Whether we make our own laundry detergent that lasts us over a years time, to making our own all-purpose cleaner with essential oils, we have saved money in our pocket book and on our grocery bill.

And, the utilization of creating a bi-weekly menu item helps us save money by only focusing on those specific items we need. Also, the need to eliminate unnecessary foods that we should steer clear from – this includes items as soda, chips, non-nutritious snack items and unnecessary grocery items.

Reigning in your finances, establishing a budget, sacrificing some unnecessary expenditures, and living within our means requires creative thinking, willingness to let go of some of the more luxury items that we can do without, as well as not further placing our family into more debt than we already are.

Final Thoughts

As previously stated, forthcoming articles will focus on how a stay-at-home parent can work on establishing a providential house, becoming self-reliant, and the ability to function in our current economical trials.

People I worked with just did not get it.

It did not matter how I explained it, they just did not understand. Since June 14 of this year, I had gone back to work with my employer, International Paper. The last time I worked for them was August of 2009 and it only lasted for three weeks. This time, I worked until Monday of last week (October 11, 2010) when I received the news that the company was laying me off. A blessing and a curse at the same time.

“Other people have families,” one co-worker told me as we were walking toward the lunchroom. Granted, people do have families. Yet, most of the people I work with prefer the swing shift. While the shift differential is insignificant, the reality is that work is work – especially in our economy these days.

The first week back to work, my schedule was days. That lasted a week, and then I was bumped (because of seniority of another employee) from days to swing. Being the lowest rung of the ladder, I had no choice in the matter. Not only did this prevent any time with my family, it also had a drastic effect on my school studies. Yet, the most important thing this affected was the time with my family.

Working swing shift is not a problem if I was not married, and living on my own. That is a whole different story. However, with a baby that is blossoming into a beautiful young woman, the reality settled in that I missed my family.

This is what people who I worked with just did not get. The most important thing to me is the relationship with my family. While I enjoy working, and had fun at work, my thoughts were constantly turned to how my wife is doing, my daughter Megan is doing and all the wonderful moments that I am missing out on.

I truly missed being home with my family. That is what people did not get.

Several family home evenings were missed, and any attempt at scheduling a solid family home evening had proved difficult. Saturdays became the day where time with family was sandwiched between running to and fro to get necessary errands done. By the time Sunday came, my wife and I dreaded the reality of the passing of our day of rest for a week-long frenzy of not having to see each other, communicate via phone and text message, and me coming home between 1 am and 3 am in the morning (the latter if I had worked overtime).

My wife kept her chin up – constantly informing me the importance of working and how it is helping us out at the moment. She kept advising that I work until they lay me off.

Since I took a mini vacation and just relaxed, this morning, I woke up knowing what lies ahead. Packing up a two bedroom apartment, getting it thoroughly cleaned, and getting homework done. Also knowing that we had to give back the second car to my father-in-law.

Down to one car, down to one income (unless unemployment benefits kick in), and me being a stay-at-home parent with a move looming on the horizon is all pressing down. Despite this, I had accomplished much.

One of my projects was to get the dining room table cleared off so that we could sit down at the table as a family and have family meals. With a simple turkey roast dinner, mashed potatoes, and carrots, it was nice to be at the table with my wife, stepson, father-in-law, and Megan. In fact, it was the first time Megan actually sat at the table with us (unless we were dining out).

The other aspect of being home, and with my stepson’s father agreeing to the change in when him and his son see each other, we have a family home evening on Monday nights.

Some things we discussed at our first FHE that we had not had in a long time were how we will start having family meals for breakfast and dinner at the table. Regular family scripture reading and prayer, consistency in participating in FHE, and that we will be doing a chore list after we move into our new home.

As busy as life is, that I am home and able to spend time with my family is one of the most important things in my life. I have missed my family.

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