Let the new week begin
Monday has already passed and it was the last day of my wife‘s vacation. The past week she had been home from work to spend time with her son and our daughter. This coincided with my stepson being out of school for spring break. Because of this, many of my own projects, writing, and schoolwork has gone to the wayside – not because I neglected them, but because I choose to place my family first and foremost and spend time with the woman I love. In essence, I had learned alot this past week from spending time with my wife and children.
We prepared for our upcoming garage sale that we had held this past Saturday only. Despite the yelling and frustrations that occurred, we managed to pull together as a family and work on making the garage sale as productive and successful as possible. Housecleaning also became a shared work with everyone pitching in – including our now 17 month old daughter.
Now, with my stepson back in school, my wife back at work, it is just my daughter and myself managing the household.
There is much on my plate today as well and my one and only thought was – wish I had some help right now.
It is not easy being a Stay-at-Home Father. The need to go and find outside work is becoming more and more predominate. Yet, there are some barriers preventing the desire to seek out employment at this time.
Since being home with my daughter has become an every-day routine, there is the emotional attachment and connection that my daughter and I share. This is not to say that we do not share this attachment if I were to work outside of the home, because we would and have. It is a more deeper attachment that many men do not understand women have with their children as stay-at-home mothers. Because of this, it would be more difficult for the both of us if I were to suddenly return back to work. For me, because (as had experienced before), I would want to be home with my daughter and seeing her move around the house, interact with her, watch her learn new things, say new words, chase one another around the house, and just being ourselves and enjoying the rich companionship we share. My thoughts would be turned toward watching the clock in high anticipation of wanting to be home, to walk through the doors and scoop up the little princess in my arms and snuggle her.
And yet, what amazed me is that the previous week, my wife had the ability of spending some much needed mommy-daughter time. So much so that whenever I tried to get some daddy-daughter time in, my daughter preferred mom over dad. Admittedly, this did tweak my nose a bit, but it also put a smile on my face watching how my daughter and wife interacted with one another, how they snuggled together, and the special relationships mothers and daughters share.
However, the reality settles in and we are back to our regular routine where mom is at work, and my stepson is at school. Leaving my daughter and I to work together and spending some time together.
Another thing I have learned over the past week (and even then, the past few months) is that as my daughter is growing, she is seeing how I am working, how her mother is working, and how her brother is working together in maintaining the house. She is readily able to help out with household chores as much as she is able to. For instance, whenever I take out the broom to sweep up the hardwood floors in the kitchen and dining room, she has to have her own broom to help out. She also knows how to pick up her toys (after some promptings from mom and dad) and put them away where they are supposed to go.
Even more fascinating is that she has this obsession with pen’s, pencil’s, notepad’s and paper. She will keep herself entertained by busying herself with flipping the notebook paper, scribbling here and there, and then sharing with us her latest scribble creations.
And then, there is the whole independence thing. She prefers to be independent and exploring on her own. When she wants something, she will let me know in her own way, however, for the most part, she prefers to be left to her own explorations. Most of the time, she will share what she has discovered, or will come and interact with me.
Overall, the week is now underway, back to the routine, and a house to get cleaned up with homework to get done.
Very few women are stay at home mothers, so if you’re saying women have more of an attachment to children because they are at home, then the number of women who have such an attachment is extremely small.
It’s the same way here. I stay at home with my daughter. We get along great. But whenever mom is home, the girl always prefers mom, and I become chopped liver. It’s just the way that it is. I usually use it as an excuse to get some “me” time anyway, since downtime is so little and far between these days as it is.