A New Year – New Goals

Hopefully, there is going to be a real focus on accomplishing some projects this year. Yes, we all make those wonderful, thought provoking “I want changes” new year resolutions. Instead, they fizzle out like a sparkler and we are left upset when there are no more sparkles to light. Therefore, as previously stated, there are going to be some wonderful – and life altering changes that will be the focus of this coming year. Despite the chaos and volatility of our society.

1. Weight Loss and Healthy Living

The most significant aspect of this year will focus on losing weight and healthy eating habits. One of the things investigating is the transformation from eating process foods to natural foods. Some months ago a book title had crossed my path. While there has not been a lot of time devoted to reading and researching the contents of the book, the premise proves interesting and life altering.

Shape your waist, rediscover real food, and find new pleasure in every mean as Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarborough teach several aspects of healthy eating

Real Food Has Curves: How to get off processed food, lose weight, and love what you eat is written by Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough. The back cover provides some detail in how this book is not a mere fad diet but a means to accomplish real results:

Eat to be satisfied

Recognize the fake and kick it to the curb

Learn to relish the big flavors you’d forgotten

Get healthier and thinner

Save money and time in your food budget

Decode the lies of deprivation diets

Relish every minute, every bite, and all of life.

Who would not want to not only lose weight, but have real nutritious food and not the fake stuff that puts away the pounds until we look at ourselves with disgust.

Along with reading and seeing what this book has to offer, as pertaining to a more robust and healthy diet, the other objective is to become active by doing basic exercise programs. This does not require a gym membership at all, and there is no need to go out and purchase any type of exercise equipment. All it requires is discipline, motivation, and about 20-30 minutes a day. This type of exercise program was blogged at the Movin Momma’s blog where I contribute articles as well and is titled – Take on this 2012 Fitness Challenge. To sum up this previously published article, the fitness challenge alternates between the days where one performs the push ups, sit ups, squats, dips, and stretching with that of running. Links to each aspect of the fitness challenged are provided and the program, less the running, goes through six weeks of building up one’s strength to accomplish 100 push ups, 200 sit ups, 150 dips, 200 squats, and in nine weeks the ability to run a 5k marathon.

All of this is ideal and reasonable goal setting. Plus, our family is wanting to become more active with getting out to do more outdoor activities. We are contemplating Saturday day hikes, or outdoor activities where we get away from the computer, get away from the rushing around of errands, and spending some quality time as a family. The difficulty of this is that my stepson goes and sees his father on the weekends and comes back Sunday afternoon. However, we are in the planning phases of getting some outdoor fun things going.

2. Time Management

Yes, the most problematic area in this gent’s life is the inability to management time efficiently, effectively, and even wisely. There is a lot of time wasting going on. Much of this has to do with lack of discipline and allowing less important things to override the more important things that ought to be focused on.

Now that winter quarter has started, my classes are online (except for one which is a hybrid class and meets only on two Saturdays). This requires some diligence in self-discipline, as well as accomplishing all the necessary housework and childcare that needs to be done. This includes getting our two-year old daughter on a regular schedule of breakfast, interactive play and learning, nap, lunch, dinner and bedtime routine. This is the primary battle at the moment in our house because she is at that stage where we offer her food and she refuses, and hardly eats what we offer her. She has grown accustomed to staying up later and later at night, only to sleep in most of the day as well.

This is partly my fault because of being up most nights waiting for everyone to go to sleep, and my wife having her vacation, and our schedules just being off. However, things definitely need to change because we need that old routine back where bedtime is bedtime and not play time. Along these lines, keeping myself up late at night has to end as well because of lack of sleep. A good nights rest and becoming an early rise is the key goal here.

3. Declutter and Organizing

It is my wife’s goal to declutter and put our house in order. On the Berman Family Times blog, which I gave to my wife for her blogging interests, she shares her discovery of how to declutter one’s home within a year. According to what she found, and the blog she found it on, there is a calendar and daily tasks on how to have your home organized and declutter within this next year. Because of this, we are going to make this, not a personal goal, but a family goal so that we have a cleaner and more organized home.

One of my own pet projects is to take the computer/office area that we have and declutter the area so that there is only one desk for the both of us to share – yes it will be large enough – and where we can also have our books available to sit and read. This is still in the negotiation stage right now and even in the idea development program.

4. More writing and building a writing career

Yes, attending school, caring for an active toddler, and managing a household is not enough for my plate. One of my passions is that of writing and after having contemplated in what direction I would like to go with my writing and writing career, the decision to be a freelance writer is becoming more and more of a reality. There is still an interest in writing and publishing critical essays on politics, philosophy and religious thought, however, my content is writing and publishing for the three Examiner.com columns I write for. Last year, this experience has been a touch and go kind of deal, but it is going to be this year where I make it my own personal commitment to write more frequently, seek out different freelance writing venues, and get more articles published – both online and in print.

As pertaining to my first novel – I am still looking at finding time to get that rewritten and may have other writing projects in the works for “novel ideas” (no pun intended). Reason behind this is because I have worked so hard to get it written, and it has just been sitting on the shelf, neglected and has not seen the light of day and would love to finally say I did complete it and not left it unfinished.

Summary

Yes, this year is going to be very challenging, and even a wonderful adventure. I believe that these are realistic goals that I have established, and hopefully, by the the time 2013 rolls around (if there is no cosmic end of the world, rapture, alien 4th dimension migration) I would have looked back and say – I truly had set out to accomplish those goals initially established and not left undone.

 

The Marysville Parenting Examiner

Among the many things that are on my plate, the main focus these past few months are generating local and even some national articles for three Examiner.com columns that I now write for. One of them is the Marysville Parenting Examiner and this latest article published there is something that is a must read for all concerned parents and their rights to parent children:

Children are less safe when the Government exerts their right over the Child

and limit the parents influence and control the parents right to raise their kids.

~ Jonathan Horton, Interview

Today, the Marysville Parenting Examiner had an opportunity to interview Jonathan Horton, national grass roots organizer for parentalrights.org. In a previous article – You’ve gotta fight for your right to parent! – MPE introduced readers to the website of parentalrights.org and the parental rights amendment brought before congressional vote. Having watched the YouTube video – Overruled: Government Invasion of your parental rights – and reviewed the website, this is one interview that parents within the Marysville, and surrounding communities, need to pay attention to. This is one issue parents need to contact their legislatures about and ask for their support on the passage of the Parental Rights Amendment.

Continue reading on Examiner.com MPE Interview: Jonathan Horton – Parentalrights.org – Seattle Parenting | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-in-seattle/mpe-interview-jonathan-horton-parentalrights-org#ixzz1fFTQVqAX

Subscribe to the Marysville Parenting Examiner to receive email updates on published articles, comment on the article itself using your favorite social media network, and let us get the word out on this issue that the Media has not yet picked up on.

As parents, we do have the right to raise our children without governmental intrusion. However, actual court cases are eroding the rights of the parents and therefore this amendment is being put forth to protect the fundamental rights of the Parents and to remove the sway and influence of the United Nations code to prevent those fundamental rights from being exercised.

Cyber bullying and stalking

Image via Wikipedia

Recently, some articles were published at the two columns I write for at Examiner.com. The first is the Seattle Multi-Faith Examiner and the second is the Marysville Parenting Examiner. Both columns focus on distinct parts of the local communities of the Greater Seattle Area and the Marysville Area. The former being a focus on what is going on in the Seattle Faith Community, tips, advise, and inspiration for those who are part of the Greater Seattle and come from a diverse background of religious convictions. The latter is parenting advice, family events, and information for parents who reside in the Marysville, Washington area. Apparently, one particular article that was published at the Marysville Parenting Examiner offended someone. How it could have offended them, my guess is as good as yours. Yet, this individual decided to make it her personal objective to attack me, attack my position and circumstance, the advice given, and even my own parenting style. Therefore, this article is focusing on how we as parents sometimes receive ridicule and mockery from those individuals around us who think they know better than we do. In addition, it will expose Alexandria Abedia’s personification. How she spoke out of line when she published her comments and twitter updates, directing them specifically toward me. In a sense, this article does two things, exposes the foolishness and blind ignorance and hate an individual has, as well as publishing her own words to show forth that she is held accountable for what she had said and published.

Examiner.com is hosting a Back to School drive. Examiner.com contributors (independent contractors) are asked if they can angle some of their content toward the Back-To-School. There are suggested topics provided. In one particular article, I decided to write and publish about bringing the family back to the table and making family a priority at the beginning of the school year; attaching a challenge within the context of the article itself. An innocent, quick blurb about the challenge and establishing one night a week for family time should not be something that would cause controversy or offense. Despite this, Alexandria Abedia took offense to this and published this on the Marysville Parenting Examiner Facebook Page:

Your parenting ideals are completely off base. I just wasted several minutes of my life reading the drivel you’ve written on parenting. All I can do is pray for your children, if in fact, you actually have any. (I hope not)”

Her rant did not stop there. On a question poised at the Facebook Page, she replied to the question – What challenges do you face as a parent? With a comment that essentially stated how she likes to respond to moronic and pathetic fathers who do not go out and support their families. Now, when I first read those statements, I started to respond to them. In the midst of publishing my reply and realizing what I am doing, it was better to let things lay. Delete the offending comments, ban her from the Facebook page, and be done with it.

Having done just that, it was not until I went into my twitter account and discovered these tweets from the same person:

blawes0me Alexandria Abadie

@

@SeattleGhost This article had so much potential, yet you sloughed it off at every turn. You’re stay at home parent, how do you know stress?

14 hours ago

The article she is referring to here is the Back to school: Bringing Families back to the table. A friend of mine had notified me about her comment there. Since having already banned her, I did not see the comments (because I blocked her on Facebook, and therefore, since Examiner.com uses the Facebook plugin for commenting on articles – I would not see them), this was what was written from her:

Two hours of perpetration? Timothy, exactly how many children do you have? How old are they? How long have you been married? Did you actually do any research on this? Or is this more of a wishlist? Who on earth is your editor? They need to read this

By this time, emotions are running amuck within me. Keeping my anger, keeping my cool, I refused to cave into her narcissistic moments of viral infection of rants and ravings. Instead, I did the next best thing. Copied as many of her comments I have found and reserved them so that if and when asked why I am ignoring her, I can provide her very own words to show her how idiotic and foolish sounding she truly is.

Here are the remaining comments she has made toward me:

Alexandria Andrews · Lafayette, Louisiana

How is this a nice article? It’s subjective – this isn’t reporting -this is cherry picking facts from people who didn’t actually have anything to do with history when it comes to the constitution.

Like

[Like]

· Reply · 13 hours ago

Alexandria Andrews · Lafayette, Louisiana

John Fiske had nothing to do with any amendment. How is this actually printed. What is your editor’s contact information? Someone should stop, or at the very least put some sort of idiot warning, on all articles like this.

Like

[Like]

· Reply · 13 hours ago

Alexandria Andrews · Lafayette, Louisiana

@Timothy, why did you hide your facebook page? Why are you taking an article titled “separation of church and state’ and turning it into ‘if a bull dies, the slave dies’ – also, who exactly is your editor?

Like

[Like]

· Reply · 11 hours ago
Alexandria Andrews · Lafayette, Louisiana

LOL, @timothy berman – Facebook user? Seriously? I guess that defines the convictions behind your words.

Like

[Like]

· Reply · 11 hours ago

• Mark as Spam
• Report as Abuse

[Submit]

Alexandria Andrews · Lafayette, Louisiana

The father is the head of the family? I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

Like

[Like]

· Reply · 14 hours ago

blawes0me Alexandria Abadie

@

@SeattleGhost @Sarahbear9789 Timothy, you’ve proved you’re completely spineless, please don’t write a book – someone may take it seriously.

12 hours ago

»

blawes0me Alexandria Abadie

@

@SeattleGhost Hi Timothy! You responded to me and then deleted your reply. I just want your other 174 followers to know you’re a coward.

12 hours ago

»

blawes0me Alexandria Abadie

@

@SeattleGhost Sweet! Let’s cherry pick some more facts! Perhaps, the world is still flat? Pop rocks and coke will indeed kill you? Pathetic

13 hours ago

What we have here is evidence of cyber stalking and cyber bullying. For parents who have children that experience far worse kinds of harassment and statement, the best antidote in dealing with these types of individuals is to record their comments. Do not just retype their words, copy and paste them into a word document from the email notification you get. Create a folder in your email to save those notifications. You would want to save the entire email because that gives a time stamp, date, and important information as to IP Address and the like.

The other thing to do, and this will infuriate the cyber stalker and bully further is to publish their comments online in a blog posting. Provide only the facts relevant to the situation and do your best to refrain from commenting out of frustration and anger – especially since most of these types of ilks utilize ridicule, mockery, and personal jabs against someone. Publish their comments because it is their own words that you want to expose, and the more exposure that their words receives, the more they realize how much of a greater fool that they are showing themselves out to be. I would not worry about removing hyperlinks that lead someone to their Facebook page, twitter account, or any other online username account. After all, once they publish it (and more specifically, when they delete the comment), you still have the record of what they said, when it was published and they can’t falsely accuse you of making it up: “I did not say that, they are lying” because they want to save face. They don’t want people to know how idiotic they truly are acting online and how foolishly they are portraying themselves to be.

As the school year comes underway, it is a good reminder that parents ought to be very diligent in knowing what their children are doing online, whom they are interacting with, and being aware of any instances where there is the possibility of cyber bullying and cyber stalking. We know this does not only happen to children; adults participate in this type of activity as well and in some instances are far worse than children can be.

Hello there my old friend

This past week has been one of those weeks where I simply wanted to curl up in a corner and disappear. Not exactly sure why I felt the way I felt, but those old feelings were haunting me like an episode of Ghost Whisperer.

For the moment, it did not seem like I could do enough. Frustrated that at every turn when I have one area of the house cleaned and organized, another one is suddenly a mess and in chaos. In fact, it was not just the burden of trying to keep the house organized and cleaned, it was that sensation of one who experiences claustrophobia. The anxiety, the fear, the pressure that everything is closing in on you. Those were my feelings this past week.

After much contemplation, reflection, the root of this sensation was the recent discovery of an essay I had written had been taken and published on another website. Without any credit towards me, the essay was published as another persons work and people commented on about how wonderful the writing was.

This essay was written when I suffered a serious bout of depression. A time in my life when things just seemed to cave in on me. A time that had become one of many crossroads in my life and I needed to reassess what is most important to me.

Not only did this person steal my work, but had stolen all emotions attached to that work.

Funny thing, when we go through some of the most severe trials in our lives, we wish that someone could take away those pains, those feelings of worthlessness, do away with them so that we would not have to walk in that path. However, the sense of having those feelings actually stolen from you is a violation of your own identity. A violation of who you are, your past, and the things that you had to face with courage and determination.

Not only was this bothersome to me, there is also the sense of missing my other three children. I, for whatever reason, can’t shake the feeling that it is time I need to start searching for them. A time when I need to make every available effort to find out where they are, how they are doing, and what is going on in there life. It is almost a driven obsession to locate.

Concerning this latter – it is really bringing up those old feelings of failure as a father. A failure as a parent who did not do enough to fight for his children. Granted, I am blessed with a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter, and a wonderful (and yet challenging at times) step-son, however, I still fill that gnawing emptiness within the depths of my own soul.

Having children that are not a part of your life is heartbreaking. All those missed moments of seeing them smile, watching them grow, feeling their arms wrap around my neck and hearing those wonderful words “I love you daddy.” All of these feelings compound and trouble me.

I begin to question myself – did I do the right thing? Am I doing the right thing?

It is something I have always struggled with, wondered, and have allowed to consume me at times.

I just simply can’t shake off these old feelings and I need to.

Keeping things in order and under control

When you are a stay-at-home parent, one of the foremost challenges is time-management. Knowing how you spend your time, getting the necessary things done, and coordinating tasks is definitely something that one has to learn on-the-job.

Let’s face it. Housewives have learned how to manage their time effectively. No wonder they make perfect assistants, executives, and are more apt to remain calm in the most stressful situations. Men, on the other hand, are more apt to go out, work hard, and provide for their families. This is not to say that men do not make as good a worker in the executive roles of employment, nor does this mean men are complacent when it comes to time management – however, from my own observation and experience, there is much more demands on the housewife than we men give them credit for.

1. Ability to manage multiple tasks and projects in a given day

As a stay-at-home father, one of the more difficult things that I have yet to successfully handle is the ability to take on multiple tasks and projects in a given day. Personally, I have never been the one to plan out his day. My mentality is to simply just go with what needs to be done instead of actually prioritizing what truly needs to be accomplished. With this, there also is the lack of consistency. One day, I will have all things cleaned, laundry done, house vacuumed, kitchen cleaned and organized. From there, I have the ability to work on writing projects, blog, and publishing articles at the Seattle Multi-Faith and Marysville Parenting Examiner.  Not only are these important, the ability to have the time to study and ensure that my assignments are completed within the designated time frame.

However, the most important aspect is the care and attention a beautiful 17 month old little girl deserves. This includes reading to her, working with her to be able to vocalize her needs, commend her for new words she is learning, interacting with her, playing with her and helping her utilize and develop her motor skills, as well as setting the example of doing chores around the house.

As I am finding out, leading by example, my daughter has developed a want to help sweep the floor. Because we have two brooms, she pulls out the one not being used and will make every effort her small body can accomplish in sweeping up the floor. She also loves it when I pull a chair up to the counter and allow her to stand on the chair while I am preparing lunch and dinner. She even helps with setting the table by pulling the chairs up to the table. And, the more we show her how to pick up after herself, the more likely she will take her toys, clothes, and the like into her bedroom and put them where they are supposed to be.

2. Consistency is the key to maintaining a clean home

If you are a perfectionist, it is difficult to settle down and relax when one speck of dust is not cleaned up. Perfectionism seems to give way to obsessive compulsive behavior. Neither of which I possess today. However, there is a happy medium that we must apply when one is having the privilege of being the caretaker of the home. When we begin to have consistency in accomplishing the necessary tasks that need to be done, we will find it easier to accomplish those things. We begin to develop the attributes necessary to find more creative ways to juggle the many demands of our time and attention.

For example, my wife does not like the fact that I get all the laundry done, and pile it all on the couch. For me, I have the laundry going, and as it is going, I work on getting other things done. When all the laundry is done, the final thing that I have to do is fold and put the clothes away. For me, doing it this way helps me unwind from the chores of the day, settle down and watch television and work on the mountain of laundry that I had just completed.

Is there a better way of doing this? Some prefer to fold the clothes right out of the dryer, get them put away, and then switch clothes from the washer to the dryer and start a new load if necessary. For them, this prevents the pile of clothes from appearing on the couch and it is one less thing an individual has to do. In this way, they find it easier to know that all has been accomplished, and they can settle down and relax.

3. Stop fretting over the small stuff and find ways to enjoy your life

Let’s face it, human beings are programmed to be socially active. Being a stay-at-home parent is challenging because we do not have the social interaction that our spouses have when they head out to work. I always ask my wife, when she comes home from work, how was her day. Listen to her talk about her day gives me insight in the things that she experiences outside of the home – whether it is good or bad.

While women have the ability to go on play groups and interact with other stay-at-home mothers, there is a real dilemma with fathers who are stay-at-home parents. It is actually more difficult for a father to go out on playgroups because of the fear that society has created.

This fear is based upon men being seen as depraved sexual deviants that are only out to harm children. In fact, such a premise is the basis for a Wall Street Journal article published in January of 2011 about discrimination of men in relation to children.

Despite this, there are some groups that are comprised of Stay-at-Home fathers that come together and enjoy the time with their children and other fathers. One such group hosts a weekly walk around Green lake and is found on the meetup.com website.

One of the things I do is take my daughter out and interact with her at a park. If there are other adults around, then I am allowing myself to be approachable and open to communication. Sometimes, this is how we are able to have that interaction.

However, do not forget that the main person we must reconnect with and interact with is our wife, or husband. whether it is having some quiet time and just watching a program on television together, playing a game, or having a conversation about the day. It amazes me how wonderful and reconnected I feel when I talk with my wife about how things are going, the frustrations of the day, and the many experiences our daughter and I have had on that day.

4. Life is not always perfect and a ray of sunshine

No matter what happens, sometimes it rains. It may be a light drizzle and overcast, other times it is dark, and rain drops like mini bombs from pregnant dark clouds hanging over our heads. Life has its ups and downs. We all face our challenges, and we all have those days when we wish we did not have to get up. This is true whether or not one is a stay-at-home parent. How we handle the emotional rollercoaster, the stress, and even those moments where we wonder if it is all worth it determines how we are able to bounce right back and remain standing in the bout of the ever present struggle of being human.

And, I will readily admit that there have been some days where emotions are as sensitive as a kitten’s whiskers and that I have found myself breaking down in fits of crying. Frustration pulsing through my veins and thoughts of not being good enough spring up from the depths of my soul. Knowing that I had at one time struggled with a deep rooted sense of depression, I recognize when those feelings come up.

What do we do? How are we able to cope? First, we have to remember that life is life, no matter what. We have to work with what we have, and we have to understand that there are the good things in life, and there are the bad things in life.

First, we must understand and accept the reality that if the situation was brought on by our own poor choices, or complacency, then we must buck up and accept the consequences and ride the wave until we correct the problem to begin with. If it is just that things go wrong, we must not fret, do our best to remain calm, and if need be, reach out to those who understand and those who we can confide in.

Secondly, the harder we try to avoid the bad the bad and create this illusion that all things are good, we are cheating ourselves of potential growth, and strengthening our character and identity. I have always held to the belief that we should not sit on the porch waiting for things to happen, we should be actively involve in ensuring things should be happening.

Thirdly, recognize and improve our weaknesses while relying on our strengths helps us get through those tumultuous times. We all will face trials, that is a given fact. We all will have bad things happen in our lives, that is a given fact. Yet, how we choose to deal with these trials determines how we will grow emotionally, physically, and mature in our personal being.

5. Stop worrying about what other people have and start focusing on enjoying what you have

When we look to other people and compare ourselves to those other people, we are inevitably setting ourselves up for failure. They have a nice house, they have a nice car. I wish we can afford a nice home and a nice car. It would be so nice to go on vacation to Disneyland. Oh how wonderful it would be to go out to eat at a nice restaurant.

How many times have we caught ourselves looking at what others have that we have forgotten what we have and are blessed with. When I catch myself doing this (not all the time mind you), I remind myself of this simple thought: Maybe they are looking at me and saying to themself  ”I wish I had what he has”.

How true it is, and the more difficult part of this is that when a person is a single parent, they struggle with the most fundamental perception. They see happy couples spending time with one another as a complete family. For a single parent, there is that emptiness, a void where they feel entirely incomplete and have lost their own identity when the marital relationship had ended.

Even more true, for those fathers who are like myself, have a bigger hole in their lives when they have other children that other people have decided to prevent from knowing, or interacting with them. I can’t count how many times it broke my heart to see a father spend time with his little girl, or his little boy. Seeing the children laugh, hug, and love on their father broke my heart because I never thought for one moment I would ever experience that in my life. This was part of the reason for my severe depression that I struggled with. Knowing that though I am a father to three other children, I was not a father to them because I had been denied access to spending time with them – when there is no reason preventing me from having a relationship with them. Despite this, I understand and know that there are many fathers who do not have the luxury to be a father to their children.

Because of this, the ability to focus on what we do have and not on what others have, is a very difficult task, but it is not an impossible task. For me, I now have a beautiful daughter that I am grateful to have in my life. I am grateful to have a loving and devoted wife who stands beside me – even when my ego and arrogance kick in. We may not have the perfect family, we are a family and we have our own struggles and trials, but we depend on one another and are enjoying our journey through this life together. Are there things we can work on to better ourselves and our family? Yes, and what family doesn’t?

Thus, what does this all mean? It means we have to keep things in order and under control. We have to recognize the emotions, the trials, the challenges we face. We have to work to better ourselves, to improve ourselves, and to grow. If we are not growing, we are not learning. And, if we are not learning, we are not understanding.

Being a stay-at-home father is still a learning process for me. I know I do not have all the answers, I know that there are times when I think, I wish I could better provide for my family. Then, I am reminded that I am contributing in a way that is benefiting my family right now, and helping my family continue to grow and strengthen.

At the end of the day, what matters is the influence we have on our families and in what direction we are steering our families.

Pork Stuffed Green Peppers

Pork Stuffed Bell Peppers

Making a change of pace in how our family is eating healthier, as well as becoming more active is proving to be challenging, as well as rewarding. One of the best ways is by introducing healthier meals that will bring the family back to the dinner table.

This utilizes fresh ingredients (except for one can), some time, and the ability to multi-task.

I will provide some suggestions on how to prep the necessary ingredients ahead of time so that one is able to toss them in when ready. Or, you can follow the recipe and prepare the entire meal without preparing any of the ingredients before hand.

Ingredients

• 

  Prep the ingredients

  1 lb Ground Pork (not pork sausage)

• 1 Hothouse Tomato
• 3 Large Green Bell Peppers
• 1/2 cup chopped Mushrooms
• 1 cup chopped onions
• 1/4 cup chopped celery
• 1/4 cup chopped carrots (baby carrots work the best)
• 5-6 fresh Basil leaves
• 1/8 tsp Red Pepper Flakes
• 1/8 tsp Pepper
• 1 Garlic clove, chopped
• 1 can (drained) Italian style diced tomato
• Shredded Parmesan, Asiaga, and Romano cheese blend
• Salt
• Splash of Sherry cooking wine
  

  5-6 Basil = 1/4 cup

If you are going to prepare some of the ingredients before hand, the best thing to do is prepare the mushrooms, onions, carrots, celery, and hothouse tomato. Don’t worry if you do not have anything fancy to keep these in. Ziploc bags work great, however, the best thing to do is if you have a large plastic container with a lid, mix the onions, celery, and carrots in one, and the mushrooms, garlic, and basil leaves in another, smaller container. One can also prep these ingredients before browning the Ground Pork.

In a medium skillet, lightly brown the ground pork. Do not season it yet, just let it brown as you break up the meat as much as possible. Cook on a medium, medium -low, or medium-high setting.

Browning the ground pork

Once the ground pork is lightly browned, remove from the stove, drain any fat that may be present, and then mix the carrots, onions, and celery in a WOK. I prefer this method over a larger skilling because it is much easier and not as messy. However, if you do not own a WOK, one of two things can happen, brown the ground pork in a larger skillet and then add the carrots, onions, and celery, mixing the ingredients together.  Allow this to simmer on Medium-Low heat while preparing the Bell Peppers.

Thoroughly mix in the carrots, onions, celery and seasoning

Utilizing a sauce-pan (large enough to fit 6 halves of the Green Bell Peppers) fill with water and bring to a boil. Add salt to the boiling water.

Cut the Green Bell Peppers in half, lengthwise, remove the seeds and membrane, rinse them out, and place the halves into the boiling water. Boil for two-minutes. Remove from the boiling water, place the halves face down onto a paper towel covered dish.

Once these are prepared, turn back to the ground Pork mixture and stir in a splash of Sherry cooking wine. Change the heat setting from Medium-low, to Medium-High and mix well.

Add in the garlic, fresh Basil, Mushrooms, Red Pepper flakes, pepper and a pinch of salt. Stir constantly until thoroughly mixed.

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease a cookie sheet/flat baking pan.

Remove the mixture from the stove and let cool for a moment.

Bell Green Pepper Halves

Place a good size amount of the Ground Pork mixture into each Green Bell Pepper half and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet/flat baking sheet.

Slice the Hot house tomato in half. Place one half on the side and take the other half and then slice (should end up with about 6 t0 8 slices) that in 1/4 inch thick slices. Place one slice of tomato onto the stuffed Green Bell Pepper. Place in the oven and cook for 15-20 minutes.

The last five minutes, sprinkle salt over the stuffed Green Bell Pepper and then add the three cheese blend, carefully covering the entire tomato slice. Place back in the oven and allow to cook for an additional 5 to 10 minutes (ensure the slice tomato is Al Dente and not to soft).

While the Pork stuffed Green Bell Peppers are cooking for the last five minutes, prep the salad by dicing up the remaining tomato half (save the left over slices for sandwiches). If you want to prepare your own salad, this can be done as well, or just simply buy the already packaged salad blends (I usually go the latter route).

Plate the salad and Pork stuffed Green Bell Pepper. I used Artisan Honey Wheat Bread to compliment the entrée.

If you would like, you can also mix in cooked Jasmine rice with the Ground Pork mixture as well.

Another vegetable to add is a 1/2 cup kohlrabi with the onions, carrots, and celery.

Hope your family enjoys this healthy meal.

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Marysville Parenting Examiner

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At one time I had a dream that some day I will be at home and writing full time. This vision centered around being a successfully published author of fiction. However, there is a different realization to this dream. Yes, I am at home and raising a wonderful and most adventurous daughter, I am also focused on establishing a successful writing career.

One of the areas where I am now writing for is as an Examiner at Examiner.com. More specifically, there are two columns that I write for. The first one is the Seattle Multi-Faith Examiner where I provide articles of a general interfaith dialogue and perspective. This perspective is localized for the greater Seattle, Washington area on a variety of topics that affect the faith community. The second is the Marysville Parenting Examiner where these articles are localized in content.

Concerning the latter – this column allows me to provide some insight that affect the Marysville, Washington community as to how parenting is challenging and rewarding. Already having published some articles, I am looking forward to producing more content that provides resources, advice, commentary on those things parents should be aware off as to how they affect the parent-child relationship.

One such topic is that of teen suicide. The North County Outlook had an article on Teen Suicide prevention focus of series by Sarah Arney. This piqued my interest and already have secured an interview date and time with the Everett/North Sound coordinator Jennifer Barron for an upcoming article that details the Youth Suicide Prevention Program and how Parents, Educator’s, and those involved in the sphere of influence of the youth are able to understand the signs and intervention needed to save our youth from suicide.

There is also a Facebook Fan page that will provide updated information as to what is going on with the Marysville Parenting Examiner.

This opportunity is a wonderful opportunity and am looking forward to providing engaging, timely topics that are relevant to parents in the Marysville, Washington and even other communities.

Follow me on the Facebook Fan page by Liking the page, as well as subscribing to the Marysville Parenting Examiner column at Examiner.com.

Let the new week begin

Monday has already passed and it was the last day of my wife‘s vacation. The past week she had been home from work to spend time with her son and our daughter. This coincided with my stepson being out of school for spring break. Because of this, many of my own projects, writing, and schoolwork has gone to the wayside – not because I neglected them, but because I choose to place my family first and foremost and spend time with the woman I love. In essence, I had learned alot this past week from spending time with my wife and children.

We prepared for our upcoming garage sale that we had held this past Saturday only. Despite the yelling and frustrations that occurred, we managed to pull together as a family and work on making the garage sale as productive and successful as possible. Housecleaning also became a shared work with everyone pitching in – including our now 17 month old daughter.

Now, with my stepson back in school, my wife back at work, it is just my daughter and myself managing the household.

There is much on my plate today as well and my one and only thought was – wish I had some help right now.

It is not easy being a Stay-at-Home Father. The need to go and find outside work is becoming more and more predominate. Yet, there are some barriers preventing the desire to seek out employment at this time.

Since being home with my daughter has become an every-day routine, there is the emotional attachment and connection that my daughter and I share. This is not to say that we do not share this attachment if I were to work outside of the home, because we would and have. It is a more deeper attachment that many men do not understand women have with their children as stay-at-home mothers. Because of this, it would be more difficult for the both of us if I were to suddenly return back to work. For me, because (as had experienced before), I would want to be home with my daughter and seeing her move around the house, interact with her, watch her learn new things, say new words, chase one another around the house, and just being ourselves and enjoying the rich companionship we share. My thoughts would be turned toward watching the clock in high anticipation of wanting to be home, to walk through the doors and scoop up the little princess in my arms and snuggle her.

And yet, what amazed me is that the previous week, my wife had the ability of spending some much needed mommy-daughter time. So much so that whenever I tried to get some daddy-daughter time in, my daughter preferred mom over dad. Admittedly, this did tweak my nose a bit, but it also put a smile on my face watching how my daughter and wife interacted with one another, how they snuggled together, and the special relationships mothers and daughters share.

However, the reality settles in and we are back to our regular routine where mom is at work, and my stepson is at school. Leaving my daughter and I to work together and spending some time together.

Another thing I have learned over the past week (and even then, the past few months) is that as my daughter is growing, she is seeing how I am working, how her mother is working, and how her brother is working together in maintaining the house. She is readily able to help out with household chores as much as she is able to. For instance, whenever I take out the broom to sweep up the hardwood floors in the kitchen and dining room, she has to have her own broom to help out. She also knows how to pick up her toys (after some promptings from mom and dad) and put them away where they are supposed to go.

Even more fascinating is that she has this obsession with pen’s, pencil’s, notepad’s and paper. She will keep herself entertained by busying herself with flipping the notebook paper, scribbling here and there, and then sharing with us her latest scribble creations.

And then, there is the whole independence thing. She prefers to be independent and exploring on her own. When she wants something, she will let me know in her own way, however, for the most part, she prefers to be left to her own explorations. Most of the time, she will share what she has discovered, or will come and interact with me.

Overall, the week is now underway, back to the routine, and a house to get cleaned up with homework to get done.

Two rooms finally organized

This past week was focused on getting the house organized, cleaned up, and not looking like a cluttered home.

The first room I had to tackle was that of my step-son’s room. Since he had refused to clean things up and get it organized (we moved into the home the last weekend of October of 2010), I decided that it would be time to get everything done. In addition to organize his room, I had also decided (not one of my better judgments mind you) to bring up a desk that was left downstairs and put it in his room. This was due in part because we had given him my wife’s old desktop computer.

The desk should have taken at least two people to move from downstairs and into his room. Unfortunately, being the stubborn mule I can be, and having the ego the size of Texas, I figured I could wrestle the desk on my own.

After getting the desk situated, the computer hooked up, and all his clothes re-folded and put nicely back into his dresser, I knew there needed to be some relax time. This was not to be accomplished because dinner needed to get going, other chores needed tending too, and Megan needed some attention.

Although my step-son came home and saw that his room was actually cleaned, he became upset because it was not the way he wanted it (we had warned him that if it had not gotten done, either his mother and I would come in and get it done). Despite his attitude, he did show gratitude that he now has a desk where he can study, a computer with internet access (we have outlined specific rules with it being in his room), and the fact that his bedroom actually is not cluttered up with everything in the middle of the floor.

Today, I decided that it was time to go through and organize Megan’s clothes, get her room rearranged, and put everything that needed to be put away. The most time consuming part was actually going through all her laundry, folding up the clothes (including those clothes that were given to us by family and some friends), and going through to see what fits her and what does not fit her.

The folding, hanging, and organizing her clothes took most of the day to accomplish. Yet, the fruits of production could now be seen in a well organized dresser, closet that now is organized, and her room situated in the manner that is not cluttered with clothes piled on her toddler bed. Once all this was accomplished, the rest of it did not take very long.

Now, the question is, what do I tackle next? There is the masterbedroom where it is pretty much organized. A few things need to be put away (like my clothes, my dresser needing to be cleaned off and organized, et al.) but for the most part, everything is kept organized. That will not take very long to accomplish. A couple of hours maybe.

Nothing in the living room needs to be situated, things needing to be picked up. Same with the dining room.

Kitchen, on the other hand, needs some rearranging and organizing. Since we are no longer going to be using bottles, those could get boxed up and put out in the garage for our up-coming garage sale. The counter needs to be cleared off (for some reason it attracts all kinds of things that do not get put away lol).

The most challenging area of the house that needs to be organized and cleaned up is the downstairs mother-in-law area. While we do not use it, there is a bathroom downstairs, an area needing to be vacuumed and boxes that we have already placed downstairs. That will take a good portion of a couple days to accomplish.

Yes, there is much more that needs to be done project wise, the fact remains that being able to settle down, relax for a moment and know that my days have been quite productive and it feels good to actually get things done.